How do you manage the ‘family’ in your family business?

The term ‘family business’ – to those not directly involved – denotes romantic images of generations of family members working harmoniously together building a thriving and sustainable empire that will be successful for decades to come.

The reality can be very different.

Truthfully, unevenly shared responsibilities, muted definitions of roles, sibling rivalry, controlling parents, lack of succession plan, too many chiefs, and negative spin off effect on other team members are just some of the challenges I’ve encountered while working with family businesses.

In addition, although there can be tensions amongst the family members themselves, it can be challenging for an outsider to come in and question the behavior of other members of the ‘family’. It’s a very emotive area, and it’s probably one of the most challenging areas of business coaching, although also the most rewarding.

Growing up in a family business is what led me into business coaching in the first place, and this is a facet of business coaching that I find really really interesting.

Coaching is like draining a river. On the surface a river, can look quite smooth and powerful and free flowing. If a river is drained, it exposes the bed of the river and all the sharp rocks and imperfections that lurk beneath the surface. These have always been there, but it’s only through ‘draining’ or ‘coaching’ that they are exposed. This is so true in business. Oftentimes, there are behaviours, employees and issues that are glaringly obvious to the objective onlooker, but the business owners either don’t see it or have sub-consciously chosen to ignore it because they don’t know how to deal with it. In some cases, they feel that by tackling it, it could do irreparable damage to the business and the relationships within the business.

Some indications that you might have ‘family’ issues in your family business:

Even though you may be the ‘owner’ of this business now, are you still making decisions in the business based on the beliefs and values of the original owners (often parents), and even worse NOT making decisions because of these same beliefs and values?

Have you a fear of expanding?

Do you deal with certain suppliers regardless of service, cost or product choice because that’s whom you’ve always dealt with?

Have you inherited some of the limiting behaviours and habits of your predecessors?

In a business where there may be joint ownership (siblings/couples/parent-child), are you avoiding making decisions and moving forward because of the difficulty in communicating and reaching agreement on business issues?

Is there a lack of accountability because as a business owner you are failing to dealing with poor performance or unprofessional behavior of family members?

Do you find that there are no boundaries between work and family life and that it can be a source of tension and arguments?

Do you have confused and de-motivated team members because of them receiving contradicting orders from different family members in the business?

Do you have family members working for you who won’t take direction themselves, and then disrupt other team members, and you’ve failed to deal with it because of a fear of the formation of a family rift?

Do you spend hours around the kitchen table at home discussing business issues and challenges?

Is the ‘business’ behavior of your partner affecting the intimacy of your personal relationship?

Have you failed to put a succession plan in place…or even broached the subject…due to the fear of the fall out?

Are you avoiding systemizing and delegating responsibility because of the ‘guilt’ of allowing someone else to know the family trade ‘secrets’?

If the ‘name on the door’ is keeping you ‘stuck’ in your business i.e. you’re not moving forward and you’re feeling stressed out by the very real emotional factors of running a family business, maybe it’s time to get some outside help.

Even booking in for an initial consultation will help you gain clarity on what you’re looking to achieve in your personal life, and therefore what would need to change in the business in order to achieve those personal goals.

Over the years I’ve helped the members of family businesses get clarity on the current direction of the business, clarify roles, responsibilities and ‘rules of the game’. In addition, we’ve been able to remove the obstacles that have been holding the business back from real growth. Oftentimes, family relationships and the resulting behavior are crippling the business, and it’s unfair on the business itself as well as the other team members.

Contact me today, if you can identify with any of the above and would like to do something about it.